Last Friday, June 3rd, was the 100th day since Russia invaded Ukraine on February 24, 2022. I am sure like everyone else, it is heart-ripping to read the news.
We are not truly living unless we are all living.
When I hear about this war and other ongoing wars, I think of my friend Eryl.
The first time I met Miss Eryl was in 2015 to discuss my interest in volunteering for the Unitarian Universalist United Nations Office (UU-UNO) at the First Unitarian Congregation of Toronto. Eryl had been the UU-UNO envoy for approximately 30 years. I joined Eryl for lunch in her quaint little neighbourhood at an old English pub.
During this first meeting, she wasted no words. She dazzled me with stories, history, and quotes from Margaret Mead, Ralph Waldo Emerson, and other famous people. She talked about war and peace and had much advice about what we could do to achieve peace on Earth. She told me that her interest in peace activism resulted from her dissatisfaction as a social worker early in her career. She felt that she was providing ‘band-aid fixes’ to some overwhelming problems that would not have existed if there was peace in the world. Many of these problems stemmed from tragedies experienced during the Second World War. Eryl became determined to get to the source of the problem and to put an end to war. And so began Eryl’s remarkable career as an activist for peace.
I loved everything she was saying and was inspired to join her mission.
I wanted to be just like Miss Eryl. She was focused, spirited, and did not seem to be frightened by anyone or anything. I used to refer to her as my 90-year-old hippie friend. At age ninety-something, I loved that she boarded a bus to go picket on Parliament Hill, travelled the world to attend peace conferences, and regularly attended lectures at the University of Toronto with her special friend Rett.
One of the most fantastic statements I have ever heard was during that first lunch meeting at the English pub. Eryl said to me quite emphatically, “Dear Debby, (she always called me ‘Dear Debby’) “I am 91 years old, and I am not going to die until there is peace on Earth!”
It wasn’t hard to sign up immediately as a UU-UNO volunteer, just on her enthusiasm alone.
As a part of the UU-UNO gig, Miss Eryl regularly attended the annual spring seminars in New York City. In her words, “These seminars are a fountain of inspiration and a wealth of information for all ‘global citizens. During my first year as a UU-UNO assistant in 2016, Eryl asked me if I was interested in going to New York to attend the annual spring conference. I knew this was a special year for Eryl because she was selected for an international justice award. There was going to be a presentation honouring her.
Regardless of her extensive experience in globe-trotting, I was worried about her safety travelling to New York City on her own. At the time, I somehow felt it was my role to take care of Eryl while in the big city so she could receive her award.
The long bus ride to New York brought us to our hotel at approximately 10:00 pm. After unloading our luggage in the hotel room, I fully expected to turn in early, given I was rooming with a senior citizen. As I was digging out my toothbrush and jammies, from my suitcase, much to my surprise, Eryl asked as ‘chipper’ as usual, “Well, Dear Debby, do you want to go out for a drink?”
“Like to a bar?” I asked.
She looked a bit confused at my question and answered, “Yes. Surely there must be something open.”
“Absolutely!” I said.
I was certainly amused that my groovy hippie friend and I are going out on the town! I secretly hoped to have her energy when I get to her age.
So off we went, Eryl, her cane, and I ventured out to find a local bar for a glass of wine. I think the wine in New York is much stronger than what I was used to. Either that or the wine glasses were much deeper! After finishing my wine, I had a foggy but horrible sense of panic. I scolded myself, “Deborah…what a terrible guardian. You are supposed to be taking care of Eryl, but instead, on the first night out, you’re getting inebriated! We still need to walk back to our hotel in a strange New York neighbourhood, and it’s close to midnight. Anything could happen! Worse yet, how could you let a senior drink. Her glass was the same size. Surely, she must feel tipsy too…she is half your size! What if she falls or passes out? What if she is on medication that would become ineffective with alcohol?”
I paid the bill, and we left the bar for our long journey back to the hotel. It was only a two-block walk, but it felt longer. Our steps were slow, cautious, and calculated. I debated with myself several times to ask Eryl to borrow her cane.
We got back to the hotel safely. The next morning Eryl sprung out of her bed full of energy and excitement for the day. I, on the other hand, was not doing so well. I made a mental note for when my self-inflicted migraine goes away, to ask Eyrl how it is that she appears to be so bubbly and full of life.
During our next three days, Eryl led the way showing me the sites of New York City. We went to plays, movies, more pubs and of course, the reason we were there, the UU-UNO conference at the United Nations. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. From our seats in the General Assembly (which included microphones), we could pretend like we were country representatives listening to important world issues. I had shivers of pride during the opening announcement when Canada was thanked for its support of the conference. We listened to passionate speakers with incredible stories of suffering, injustice, and triumph. It was such a thrill to be at the United Nations and meet these exceptional people. Miss Eryl received her award. I was proud of this little lady as she delivered a humble and mighty speech on peace.
Eryl was ‘spot-on’ in describing the conference as a fountain of inspiration. I was grateful to her for this opportunity. It was an extraordinary life-changing experience that I will remember fondly… and as it turned out, Eryl took good care of me.
I believe Miss Eryl was right when she said that she will not die until there is peace on Earth. Though she is no longer here with us in body, her spirit will continue to live on as a force for peace. Even when there is absolute peace (because Eryl said that there will be), I will remember her as a remarkable woman, whose ‘mono-maniacal heart’ committed her entire life so that everyone on the planet could enjoy (as Eryl used to say) “a world in one peace/piece.”
And as Eryl concluded every one of her emails…. Peace will prevail.